we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
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