omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Randomize
