I showed him my bush... on skype.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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