Your tits are I can't wait for
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
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