Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.