How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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