Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
Guys Hate When Girls Do These 29 Cringeworthy Things
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
25 Men Confess The Moment They Knew They Wanted To Marry Their Wife
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.