remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Randomize
