I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
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