i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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