Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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