It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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