you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Randomize
