when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Randomize
