i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
