Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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