Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
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