sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
He did a backflip because drugs
Randomize
