bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Randomize
