I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize
