A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
Randomize
