Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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