Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
My underwear smells like fireworks.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
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