I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Randomize
