It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
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I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
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Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
he just fucked me for my cheese.
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
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