I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
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There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
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Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
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