Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
