just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Randomize
