Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
Randomize
