So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
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