I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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