i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
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