so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
he high fived his dick after we had sex
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