But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
I think your dad took our porno
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
