There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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