ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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