This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
Randomize
