Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
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