the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Randomize
