Ketchup is God's man juice
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Randomize
