i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
I will be naked everywhere
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
Randomize
