TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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