We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize
