so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
