If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
Lo siento on account of my penis...
Randomize
