no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
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