but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
Randomize
