did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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