It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
Randomize