is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
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