this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize
