it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
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