It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
Bring me that man meat
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Randomize
