Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
Randomize
