i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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