He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Randomize
