Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
