I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
