and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
