I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
Still dying that you shit outside
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize