I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
my soul wont recognize me after tonight
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
why is half of my head shaved?
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